The Cla$$room of the Future

Thanks to school closings, the cla$$room of the future is already here

A Teach for the Universe corps member bringing excellence from another planet.

Today we’re headed to a magical place where excellence is the order of the day, expectations are always set to 11 (one point higher than their highest setting) and the Harlem Shake is but a distant, embarrassing memory. Where is this dream destination, you ask? In the future. Make that the cla$$room of the future to be precise. But what will this super cool place look like and is there any limit to the number of students it can contain? Also, is it true that Teach for the Universe corps members will travel here from other planets to share their excellence? Continue reading →

Amplify the Bottom Line (and Excellence)

Students who currently use outmoded devices like these MacBooks will experienced enhanced excellence once they are provided with Amplify tablets.

If only there was a miracle product that could fix the many problems plaguing our failing union-stifled public schools, all in the blink of a cursor’s eye. Reader: today is our lucky day. Edu-visionary and Edushyster transphormer-in-chief Joel Klein has the very miracle gizmo that will at last allow our stifled public school students to begin the long climb up mediocre mountain towards the acme of excellence and the peak of 21st century workplace skills. Continue reading →

box_of_wine_

Have a Very Rephormy Christmas!

And an excellent and innovative new year…

Still looking for the purrfect gift for that extra excellent and innovative someone in your life? Not to worry. EduShyster has assembled an assembly of offerings guaranteed to send test scores soaring all through the holidays and into 2013. So from my rephorm family to yours: ¡feliz navidad and a very prospero año! Continue reading →

Joel Klein’s Edu-Cojones

Today we raise our collective wine boxes to a man who has the biggest, boldest edu-cojones in the business. Reader: meet Joel Klein, former NYC schools Chancellor turned edu-preneur—and most definitely turning a profit. When last we encountered Mr. Klein he’d just finished sounding the alarm bell about the greatest national security threat our country faces: our union-stifled public schools. But there is good news, reader. Joel Klein has now figured out the solution to the national security threat of our time—and it turns out to be the very edu-product that Klein himself is peddling. Continue reading →

It’s About Innovation, Not ‘Privatization’

Edu-entrepreneur Joel Klein has a message for all of you haters: It’s about innovation, not privatization.

When it comes to the best way to turn around our disastrous public schools virtually everyone who is anyone agrees: the schools need “stuff,” lots and lots of “stuff.” But the question remains: what kinds of edu-products should we use to fill in the achievement gap? In other words, once we’ve finally freed up all those edu-bucks by getting rid of the LIFO lifers with their outrageous salaries and benefits, what cool products should we spend the money on? The possibilities are limitless.

Reader, I’d like to introduce you to a product pioneer. His name is Joel Klein and he is on the job 24/7 thinking about the edu-stuff that will FINALLY turn around our failing schools. If you notice that he looks VERY relaxed in the picture above, that is because Mr. Klein and his colleagues at Amplify, the edu-products division of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation, have already solved this challenging conundrum. Drum roll please. The answer is: An interactive 4G tablet, with WiFi and technical assistance provided by AT&T. OMG, are they serious??? Let’s watch the promotional video together (I’ll be watching mine on an interactive 4G tablet): Continue reading →